Report

Wrote by PABLO
Headliner Maker - Hatrick taker.

AFC DUNSTABLE 1-5 MURSLEY

After last weeks excellent performance the Mursley boys headed down the A5 in high spirits. As Atomic Kitten aired through Martyn Lee's dinky little motor, which apparently was bought off Jordan, Kit was pondering his team talk. What type of team talk would the notoriously calm manager produce before the game was on everybody's lips.

Everybody soon found out as Kit hammered home his first real rollocking team talk of the season. Mursley had to be fair, had it quite easy up until now and they were informed in no uncertain terms, that the honeymoon period was over and players were playing for their places. With a reserve team in place and reserve players in good form the players went out knowing they had to start performing.

The game was evidently going to be tough and AFC Dunstable had a secret weapon on the branch. Standing at 6 foot 7 and 0% body fat, Matt Skeltons next opponent was keeping warm on the sideline, waiting to pounce on anybody and everybody. With this in mind the Mursley boys knew that with Hollingsworth on the bench and nobody to defend them on the field, they'd have to defend themselves. This was something that Stimmy took literally when he continually and bravely manhandled the opponents.

After a couple of near misses, a crossbar hit and a beautifully inspired save from Ben, Mursley broke away and Nixon showed his true finishing class with a lovely low finish. Mursley had taken the lead and looked dangerous on the break. The boys on the touchline were celebrating, till the 6 foot 7 giant awoke and looked over, to which everybody suddenly hid and cheered on Dunstable...

Then Rob Mooney received the ball and as he lumped it up field, a reckless AFC Dunstable player horrible mauled him to the floor in probably the worst tackle since... Martyn Lee's last one. As Rob lay motionless and Daisy struggling to work out which part of his lifeless body was injured, Mursley struck again. After a bit of pinball the ball feel to Juzza and after the manager had talked pre-match about scoring more, he struck the ball sweetly to give Mursley a 2-0 lead at the break.

The lads had worked so hard and came in the dressing room tired as anything. This was where the gaffer earned his £4.30 a week as Mursley had been here before. They were 2-1 up last week and everyone was determined to not let the usual happen again. Dunstable were gonna come at the Bumblebees and the Pimp Daddy was getting more angry on the sidelines.

Amazingly the second half started and Mursley put in a 3rd. The 7 hours spent on crossing on the right in training paid off, when the ball was crossed in beautifully and the 8 foot 3 Nixon crouched down just below the clouds to head home. Really terrific goal. This was getting beyond a dream and after the home side where reduced to 10 men for a reason unknown to everyone, Mursley made it 4, when super sub Gusaldo came off the bench to volley home the 4th.

It was dream land but there was still work to do. Dunstable hit Mursley on the break and reduced the deficit to 3 making it 4-1. Ben stood no chance in goal with the one on one and no real blame could be attached to anyone.

During this brief period it was noted that Hollingsworth after being chained up was unleashed himself on the pitch and after his fantastic contribution, Nixon completed his hatrick with another beautiful finish which sent the 2 girls on the sideline wild. Although it must be noted they were watching Pablo in full flow and I think one may have even fainted when the young Spanish sex God flicked back his stylish locks.

With that the full time whistle was blown and Mursley celebrated the greatest result possibly in their history. They'd beaten the almost unbeatable Dunstable 5-1 away from home. Fan bloody tastic. The players celebrated in their usual manner with a nice hot warm sensual shower in which the players gave each other a lovely rub down...Hmmmmm...the boys looked lovely, standing tall next to their illustrious opponents, washing those beautiful pecks. If only every game ended this way...

GAFFA,S VIEW. good performance, every player done what was asked, but lets not get to carried away we have to now take this result into the next game. MOM could have been anyone, but with a hatrick under his large beltt.. we prob all agree it goes to Brian Nixon.